A Window to My Soul

Praying and Preparing for Haiti

2009-11-08T17:16:00.003-06:00

Here is a video I found on YouTube that includes pictures from the same mission we will be going to: Northwest Haiti Mission.

Here is the link to the Mission's website: http://www.nwhcm.org/

You can find all sorts of information on the Mission, as well as Haiti on the website. If you'd like to help me make it to Haiti in February, just click the Give button on the top row of tabs. Then, click on Missions Trips on the left sidebar. Make sure you put my name Jennifer Andrews and the date of our trip February 11-20, 2010 in the Notes section at the bottom.

Thank you all so much for your support and prayers!! I know this is going to be an amazing
experience and God will provide! He is our Jehovah Jireh!!

Haiti - Here I come!

2009-10-06T18:40:00.002-05:00

Yep, that's right....Haiti. I've been called to serve in Haiti on a Medical Missions trip in February. I need your help guys!! I have to raise $500 by the end of this month and then the remainder $1000 by January. I know it's getting close to Christmas time, but these people...wow...they need it. I'll post some links shortly so you can see why I say that and why my heart hurts. Well, a little background.....
Several years ago, I was wondering what I was going to be when I grew up. (Mind you I was already married and had Tyler....well, I guess I'm still not grown up! Anywho..) I felt called to Nursing. Now, I hated needles, hated the sight, smell, or thought of blood and my hubby (bless his sweet soul) told me I was completely nuts and out of my mind. Well, there was a waiting list at the school for the nursing program. He told me I could apply and if I got accepted AND I still wanted to go after the 9 months of waiting list, that he would support me. Well, I got accepted, waited and went. I never thought I would make it through it! I just gave it to God and well He pulled As! So, fastforward and I've worked at the hospital, the nursing home (for a very short while!), a pediatric clinic and now for Indian Health Service. I absolutely love my job!!
Well, back to the missions part.....I've always felt called to missions. Since I went to church camp with Ashley Johnston back in Junior High with First Assembly here in Miami. I received the Holy Spirit and the call. But, like so many of us, just got stuck. I didn't know what to do with it. So, I was talking at work the other day, and telling a student I was mentoring a brief version of that and Dr. Tiemann overheard me. He says, "You want to do Medical Missions?" I say "Yes". He says, "How about Haiti?" I say, "Well, ya, if God's calling I'll go. I've just never went because of money. I'll go anywhere though." He says, "How bout February?" I got goosebumps! I mean it was just wow. God was there! He goes on to explain, that they have a large group of Doctors going in February and really need nurses. Then, the money issue. Have to have $500 by the end of October. Then the total $1500 by January. And you know at first, I thought no way I'll be able to go. But a calming peace covered me. God says, if He calls you He will make a way. So I'm believing right now that he will make a way.
If you would like to be a part of that way, If you've ever had a heart for missions, but can't go, If you just believe in a good cause, PLEASE email me, call me. As soon as I make the deposit of $500, then I can post a link where you can donate with my name towards the remaining balance as well. All donations are tax deductible. I'll also post links soon with the Mission website, so you can find more information about them, Haiti and what's going on. I'll be posting with updates as to where we are in raising money, facts about Haiti, about the mission and so forth. Then when we return, I'll post tons of pictures and tell you all about the trip. If your church would like to take a love offering, I would be more than willing to come to your church after the trip and speak about what God is doing in Haiti. I'm telling you God is moving in that impoverished, Voo Doo country. He is Good! He is mighty! And He will save the people of Haiti!! I believe it!! Do you?

Spellbinders Design Team Contest

2009-02-01T23:26:00.000-06:00

Well, here they are! My projects for the Spellbinder's Design Team Contest.
I really hope they're good enough to make the final cut. I guess we'll see soon!

This first one is a sign I made for the Daycare a couple weeks ago. People kept coming to the front door during nap time and waking the kiddos up, so I made this. Now they all come around to the back. I get to get some work done and the kids get their sleep - a Win-Win.

Next is the 2 page layout of Tyler. I love these pics of him. He's grown up so fast!! It seems like yesterday I took these!

And this is a card for my Sissy's Birthday coming up. I guess it's a good thing she doesn't read my blog, huh? Well, let me know HONESTLY what y'all think!

Beth Moore's Scripture Challenge

2009-01-03T21:42:00.002-06:00

This year, this is going to help keep me accountable. I've signed up for Beth's Siesta Scripture Memory Team! I've gotten my spiral index cards and chosen my first verse to memorize. Da Da Da daaaaa (work with me here!) Here's my first verse:

"God selected what in the world is foolish to put the wise to shame, and what the world calls weak to put the strong to shame. And God also selected what in the world is lowborn and insignificant and branded and treated with contempt, even the things that are nothing, that He might depose and bring to nothing the things that are."
1 Chorin. 1:27-28 (Amp)

Isn't that a great verse? I'm reading Approval Addiction by Joyce Meyer and was led to that verse last night whle I was taking my bubble bath. It's soooo refreshing to be reminded that there is no way we can be perfect or even good enough for God. He will use us just as we are in Christ Jesus. We only have to have faith in Him. Of course, we still try to do our best, but we don't have to beat ourselves up when we aren't perfect! I have a major problem with this. I am such a people pleaser. I am really hard on myself when someone isn't completely happy with me. I know I'll never be perfect. It's just great to be reminded that God can still use me, even if someone isn't completely happy with me! (Or I just think they aren't, which is usually the case.)

So, I challenge you if you are reading this to go check out Beth Moore's blog, buy some spiral index cards, pick a verse and get memorizing. It is good for the soul to have God's word etched on your heart.

A New Year ~ A New Me

2008-12-29T21:53:00.002-06:00

Our church is praying and believing for Favor in 2009. We are trusting that He will do mighty things in 2009 in each and every one of us. Let me share a couple verses Pastor shared with us in a letter he sent out recently.

"Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth." 3 John 2 KJV

"But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you. For surely, O Lord, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor s with a shield." Ps. 5:11-12 NIV

This past Sunday Pastor spoke on the 7 Habits we must strive towards. I'm listing them here mainly for accountability. This is what I want to strive for. I want to know Jesus more this year.

1. Persistant Prayer - Set a time & place EVERYday.
P pray
U until
S something
H happens

2. Trust God
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Prov. 3:5-6

3. Be Faithful to God House.
"Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another-and all the more as you see the Day approaching." Hebrews 10:25
This is one I really need to work on. It is way to easy for me to want to sleep in on Sundays, especially if I don't get to on Saturday. I love my sleep, no really in like a really sick way! I love it way too much!! But, I love my Lord and my family more. We will be in church every Sunday and very Wednesday.

4. Love Others. Love God.
"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." 1 Corin 13:4-8

5. Listen to God. Submit to His Will.
How do we listen to God? By reading His Word! That's the first step.

"Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say? I will show you what he is like who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice. He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete." Luke 6:46-49

"You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised." Hebrews 10:36

6. Be Thankful.
"[G]ive thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thes. 5:18

7. Study God's Word.
Don't just read it ~ Meditate on it.
This is where this comes it. Beth Moore (gotta LOVE her!!) is doing a Scripture Challenge this year for us Siestas. You should join in! It'll be fun! I'll be sharing my verses here on my blog as well. This again will help to keep me accountable.

So, watch out girls! This year is going to full of blessings, lessons, and well, Jesus! Are you in it with me?

In Christ,
Jenn

Trees for Us and for Taylor

2008-12-13T22:03:00.004-06:00

Well, we finally got our Christmas tree up today.

Canaan was pretty impressed.

Tyler tried to put the angel on the top of the tree. He suddenly got scared though for some strange reason, so James finished the job.

And we finally got Taylor's trees out to her as well. All in all, a good day.

And here's a pic of us putting the trees together that Tyler took.

2008-12-10T10:50:00.002-06:00

While Blog cruisin' this am, I happened to catch up on my fave - Beth Moore (you can find her here: www.livingproofministries.blogspot.com). And her writing from Monday was so profound. Let me share a small portion with you.

"Girlfriends, Jesus is so worthy of our trust no matter what has taken us by surprise. Picture that, when the enemy asks for a little extra access to you, the only reason why God may have given him permission is because He knew you'd prove faithful. Do the thing. In the unseen realm, angels are cheering and demons are jeering. You are in the stadium and the bleachers are full. (Hebrews 12:1) Take one for the team if you have to. Be strong and courageous. Be willing to show people how it's done. Don't look for a leader. You are the leader. People are looking to you. Be deliberate. Make sure they see Jesus. We're not here all that long and then there's BLISS. Forever bliss. Till then, we're over our heads. But we can dang-well decide what kind of over-our-heads we're gonna be."

Wow! That puts major new perspective on the trials I've faced. God knew I'd prove faithful. Seriously? Wow! And ya know, I'm not in that stadium alone! I'm am in there with The King Almighty!! Jesus Christ! Isn't He ALWAYS faithful!! Even when I don't feel I can be. And that BLISS, oh that wonderful BLISS that is to follow!!

Speaking of the Bliss to follow, my BomBom is back in the hospital. That darned chemo is really gettin' her down. Her white count dropped and she hasn't been able to hold anything down. My Momma and Sissy are coming up this afternoon and we're gonna go to Joplin to visit with her. Just say a little prayer for her today. I know it's getting close to her time to enter that everlasting Bliss and honestly it's not her I'm worried about. I know where she will be and I know she will be without pain and suffering and I want that for her right now. She is so weak and miserable. But, I do worry about some of our family. There are a couple people that I just worry if and how they'll be able to handle her passing. I hope (and trust me, I'll tell them) they know to cling to our Heavenly Father and will turn to Him for peace and comfort. As you say a prayer for my precious BomBom, please ask for favor on our family. I pray that we are pulled together this Holiday season no matter what does or doesn't happen.

Blessings

2008-11-21T13:54:00.002-06:00

Yesterday I was feeling so overwhelmed. With Tyler and his Asperger's, with Grandma, with Mom, with the Daycare, with our finances, just everything! It all started Tuesday afternoon. I took Tyler to the Dr. which was a nightmare! He was EXTREMELY active. He was firmly diagnosed with Asperger's or High Functioning Autism, so Dr. switched his medication. Well, it takes up to a couple weeks to get in his system, so on Wednesday he had a really bad day at school. James had to go pick him up by noon and bring him to me. So yesterday I kept him home to give the med another day to get in his system. Well, yesterday morning was very trying. I've also been frustrated by the Daycare not filling up yet. And the 2 kids I have are awesome, but with Indian subsidy they pay a month behind, so I won't receive any payment until December 20th. So, I'm workin' my hiney off and not seeing our finances get any better yet. Well, and then add Grandma's Breast Cancer and Mom's possibility of Breast Cancer with her mass being removed Tuesday, and well ya I was overwhelmed. Well, I had the opportunity to visit with my Pastor's wife yesterday around noon and it was such a BLESSING! I was able to get so much off my chest! Then the Benevolence fund at our church has agreed to help us this month. AMAZING! Then she prayed with me over the phone. Well immediately the peace of Jesus just flooded over me! I'm telling you I felt His presence over me and still do. THEN, as if that wasn't enough, I looked up and Tyler (of all children!) was taking a nap! Let me just tell you, this NEVER happens!! Even when he was little he would never really nap! So, then within an hour I received a phone call for 2 children needing care! They are State children, so I was wondering whether I'd even be able to take them. But, I called my Star Liason and guess what. Yep! You guessed it! I've been approved for 1+ Star, which makes me eligible to accept State children as well!!! Can you believe it? Well, if you believe in the power of Jesus Christ, you can. If you don't, well just call me, we'll talk! Then Tyler woke up, got his school work done with minima battles AND went to sleep by 8:30 last night! This is HUGE too, as we fight bedtime every night untill at least 10:00. So, (nope, I'm not done yet!) today I call Tyler's teacher and he's had a great day! Still a couple bumps, but leaps and bounds from the past weeks! (Sorry for all the exclamations. I'm just super excited!) And, one last call for one more baby and yep! The Daycare is now full!! Isn't God WONDERFUL!!!! Thank you Jesus! Just had to share with you all! (You know, my like 2 blog readers! LOL!)
Loves,
Jenn

Digital Scrapbooking

2008-11-17T20:12:00.003-06:00

Well, this weekend some friends and I went to a Scrapbook Retreat in Carthage by KISS Crop N Shop. It was AMAZING!! We had a blast! I won a Canon printer!! That was really cool! It's a portable 4x6 photo printer. The prints are better than Walgreen's or Wal-Mart and just as good as Osborn's. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it!! You can check it out here. Got a little bit of work done, not much as usual. I end up sitting there either talking to everyone or thinking about what to do next. But I'm inspired again. That's the main thing - getting my thinkin' tank full. I've decided to dabble in the world of Digital Scrapbooking. It looks like a lot of fun. I've just been apprehensive due to lack of knowledge. But, I went to 2Peas and found some great tutorials. And (use your imagination here, I'm singing) dun dun dun duuun:

My 1st Digital Layout:

I'm so proud!! There will definitely be more to come! Special thanks to Summer Driggs from Summertime Designs for the use of the Breast Cancer Awareness kit. Isn't it beautiful?

I think I have a new addiction!

On another note, please pray for my Momma. She is having her surgery tomorrow morning. They are going in to remove the mass in her left breast. They don't know how much they'll have to take untill they get in. Then they'll send off the mass and confirm whether or not it's Breast Cancer. I really hope the Dr.'s suspicion is incorrect. I don't think I can handle my Momma and my BomBom both going through chemo. I'll update tomorrow after I hear from Poppy. I wish I could be there!

Well, after a weekend of scrapbooking and visiting my Momma, I'm exhausted!! So, while it's barely 9:00, I'm crashing.

Later,
Jenn

Asperger's and Tyler

2008-11-04T21:02:00.000-06:00

Well, we found out today that Tyler has Asperger's Syndrome. It is a mild form of Autism. I'm beginning TONS of research right now, so I can help Tyler and to help educate others arond us in how to interact with Tyler. This had been very shocking and difficult to swallow, but at the same time it's been a relief to finally begin to understand why Tyler is like he is. I'm going to attach some strategies for dealing with Asperger's if you'd like to read a little about it and how to react with Tyler. I'll be blogging a little more I'm sure. Just please pray for Tyler and for James and I in dealing with him and this. Thanks.

General strategies for success

Children with Asperger's syndrome benefit from daily routines for meals, homework, and bedtime. They also like specific rules, and consistent expectations mean less stress and confusion for them.
Many people with Asperger's syndrome do best with verbal (rather than nonverbal) teaching and assignments. A direct, concise, and straightforward manner is also helpful.
People with Asperger's syndrome often have trouble understanding the "big picture" and tend to see part of a situation rather than the whole. That's why they often benefit from a parts-to-whole teaching approach, starting with part of a concept and adding to it to demonstrate encompassing ideas.
Visual supports, including schedules and other written materials that serve as organizational aids, can be helpful.
Be aware that background noises, such as a clock ticking or the hum of fluorescent lighting, may be distracting to your child.
Children with Asperger's syndrome often mature more slowly. Don't always expect them to "act their age."
Try to identify stress triggers and avoid them if possible. Prepare your child in advance for difficult situations, and teach him or her ways to cope.

Strategies for developing social skills

Your child may not understand the social norms and rules that come more naturally to other children. Provide clear explanations of why certain behaviors are expected, and teach rules for those behaviors.
Encourage your child to make eye contact when spoken to, and explain why it is important. Give lots of praise, especially when he or she uses a social skill without prompting.
Practice activities, such as games or question-and-answer sessions, that call for taking turns.
Help your child understand others' feelings by role-playing and watching and discussing human behaviors seen in movies or television. Provide a model for your child by telling him or her about your own feelings and reactions to those feelings.
Teach your child how to read and respond appropriately to social cues. Give him or her "stock" phrases to use in various social situations, such as when being introduced. You can also teach your child how to interact by role-playing.
Foster involvement with others, especially if your child tends to be a loner.
Teach your child about public and private places, so that they learn what is appropriate in both circumstances. For example, hugging may not be appropriate at school but is usually fine at home.

Strategies for school

Use visual systems, such as calendars, checklists, and notes, to help define and organize school work.
Orient your child to the school setting. Before the school year starts, take time to "walk through" your child's daily schedule.
Be aware of and try to protect your child from bullying and teasing. Talk to your child's teacher or school counselor about educating classmates about Asperger's syndrome.
Ask your child's teacher to seat your child next to classmates who are sensitive to your child's special needs. These classmates might also serve as "buddies" during recess, at lunch, and at other times.
Encourage your child's teacher to include your child in classroom activities that emphasize his or her best academic skills, such as reading, vocabulary, and art.
Set up homework routines for your child by doing homework at a specific time and place every day.
Use rewards to motivate your child. Allow him or her to watch TV or play a favorite video game or give points toward a "special interest" gift when he or she performs well.
Some children with Asperger's have poor handwriting. Typing schoolwork on a computer may be one way to make homework easier. Using computers can also help children improve fine motor skills and organize information.

Been Awhile....

2008-09-12T23:11:00.008-05:00

since I blogged. Well, now that school is back in session and we have soooo much going on, I guess I will try to get back in the habit. Speaking of habits, that is our main focus with Tyler right now - Habit Training. Of course, this is pretty common sense for just about everyone but me (guess that's the blonde! LOL). But, I've been reading a lot on the Charlotte Mason way of homeschooling and this is one of the foundations. If you're unfamiliar with Charlotte Mason and want to know more you can google it and find like a bazillion sites. This is the one I recommend though: http://www.simplycharlottemason.com/. Anyways in looking for some other resources, I found these GREAT little flip charts to help our little ones with habits.

The first green one is to help them clean their rooms (without having to go in there 500 times and tell them what to do next!). The yellow one is Zone Cleaning for the kiddos. You can assign them the Zone work and keep your house cleaned the easy way! If you're not familiar with Zone cleaning, check out Flylady at http://www.flylady.com/. She is fabulous by the way!! And lastly the blue one is for Laundry - start to finish! How awesome are these little boogers?? I'm most definitely ordering them and trying them out on precious, little, unsuspecting Tyler. I'll let ya know how it goes!

On the homeschooling front, Tyler got new glasses with a new Rx and is doing MUCH better! It's actually helping with focus as well. He was reading like a champ yesterday and today! I was so proud! I just love to brag about him. Mainly because he really ticked me off this evening, but that's another story better left untold. We are reading a chapter every night in Charlotte's Web. It's been fun for me to revisit that classic and Tyler has enjoyed it as well.

On to the next topic at hand, if you haven't aleady heard, I am opening a Home Daycare. I am totally excited about it!! I already have a couple kiddos lined up and hope to fill the rest of the openings by the time I open. The projected date (as long as noting goes wrong with inspection) is October 6th. It will be called TaterBugz after our Taylor. Surprisingly Tyler is excited as well. He wants to be the "Big Helper" and I'm sure he'll be a good one. Wish me luck is this little endeavor and PRAY for us!! More info coming soon, I'm sure! Also, if you know of any kiddos that need care, send them my way!

And last, but most certainly not least, my BomBom is battling Breast Cancer for the 3rd time. We just recently found out that is has manifested in her lungs (since she doesn't have any breast left from the last 2 times). It is Stage 4, but they are hopefull. She began chemo Monday and up until Tuesday night she was doing well. But, the chemo got the best of her and is making her violently ill. She was admitted to the hospital this morning. Prayers have went up for her and I know without a doubt she will have healing. God's hand is on her now. We give Him thanks for the the mighty work He is doing in her. I pray for God's will to be done and that's of course what I want more than anything. I just hope His will includes her sticking around on Earth a little longer for that healing! Is there anything wrong with that? I love my BomBom (which is my Grandma by the way - my Mom's mom) and I just don't want to lose her, but I also don't want to see her suffer either. The other woman that needs prayer is my Aunt Cheryl. She's doing everything in her power to care for her the best she can. Bless her heart though, she has health problems of her own. I pray that God gives her the strength she needs, the patience Grandma needs and the wisdom to ask for help. I've added a couple pics of my BomBom. The first is her and Canaan. And the other is her with some of her Great Grandchildren. Starting on the left with my son Tyler, Stephanie's son Cody and then Kyle, and then far right Amanda's son Davin.

These next one is the whole McCracken Family. And lastly starting at top left my baby sister, Melissa, then me, then bottom my middle sister Stephanie, BomBom and my Momma, Cherie.

Well, I'm going to sign off for now. My time is always limited right now. Canaan thinks he needs my upper half every 2 hours!

Blessings in Christ!
Jenn

Canaan Benjamin

2008-07-07T15:25:00.001-05:00

Wednesday ~ July 2, 2008
We had our Dr. appt and everything was looking good. I had only dilated to about a 2 and was still high and thick, so hanging out on the couch was apparently doing its job. (Thanks for the meals!!!) We came home and had a pretty quiet evening really, went to bed pretty early for my usual. I actually slept well too!!

Thursday ~ July 3, 2008
A year ago today we awoke to a flood. Well today history would repeat itself. My water broke as I woke up at 9 am, flooding my bed!! So, James came home and off to the hospital we went. Long story short, Canaan made his arrival 10 ½ hrs later. They put him on my chest and I got to start rubbing him down. Then they noticed he wasn’t breathing very well and took him over to the warmer. Then off to the nursery he went. They put him on the NICU bed and put him under an oxygen hood. Dr. Carnahan came in and told us it could one 1 of 2 things. One was he came down occiput posterior which is face first or two that his lungs weren’t developed. He was 35½ weeks old, so a late pre-term baby, but still pre-term. Trust me though, he doesn’t look it!! He was 7lbs. 12 oz. Can you imagine what he would’ve been if he lasted 4 more weeks in the womb??? Ouch!! Anyways, we were hoping it was the face up situation, because that would mean he had some fluid in his lungs and he would be better in 18-24 hrs. Well, the praying began.

Friday ~ July 4, 2008
Well, when I got up and went to check on Canaan, he was doing better. We really thought he was turning the corner and that the problem was that he came down and out face up. I finally got to hold him late that afternoon and we tried to breastfeed for the first time. He seemed to know exactly what he doing. He was still grunting and breathing hard, but he was out of the oxygen hood, and just had a nasal cannula for oxygen. As long as I was in there and holding him, he was calm and didn’t have any issues with his oxygen levels. Well, about 2 am, I almost fell asleep in the rocker in the nursery (he was never allowed to far away from the NICU bed, because of all the stuff he was hooked up to). I selfishly decided to go back to my room and go to sleep.

Saturday ~ July 5, 2008
I was woke up by my dear friend Jaime who had so very nicely brought me my favorite blueberry donuts!! It was 7 am and before we even really got to visit, we went straight down to the nursery, so excited to love on Mr. Canaan. Before I could get to the nursery, his night nurse Amanda stopped me. She let me know that he got fussy again last night and his oxygen levels went down really low. They had to put the oxygen hood back on and it was turned up to almost 100% oxygen levels. (Room air is 21%, just for future reference.) Dr. Carnahan was in the nursery with him. I called James to come up and shortly Dr. Carnahan was visiting with us. He thought that Canaan’s lungs didn’t develop all the way and that he needed surfactant to soften and strengthen his tiny lungs. Well, we don’t do that in Miami, so a chopper came and took him to St. Francis in Tulsa. Canaan was admitted to Dr. Gomez (a Neonatologist) into the NICU. He was given surfactant in the helicopter, and arrived on a ventilator. We left for Tulsa about the same time Canaan did. (James says he’s a little jealous. Canaan got to ride in a helicopter first!) Shortly after we arrived Pastor and Cynthia came through Tulsa on their way home from vacation and came by the hospital. It was so nice to see them! My mom was here and all 5 of us prayed over a prayer cloth and I placed it with Canaan in his little bed. I had made the comment in the car that there would be a major improvement in the morning because there would be too many people praying for there not to be. Well, Pastor said, “There will be a major improvement by tonight.” Well, he was right!! We stayed with Canaan till dinner time, then left and ate and got a motel room. Everyone was trying to talk me into not going back because my feet were soooo swollen all the way the up to my knees. I know everyone meant well, but I’m glad I didn’t listen! I went back around 11:30 and the ventilator was gone!!! It was replaced with a CPAP, but that was better – an improvement, a blessing from God. I was able to finally get a little sleep.

I promise to write more later this evening and post pictures. If you have myspace.com, you can see some pictures there. Thank you for all the prayers.

Why?

2008-03-13T23:38:00.002-05:00

Just a little writing I decided to do tonight. I went to an infant loss support group in Joplin tonight. Wonderful! A lady shared something along this view and I couldn’t get it out of my mind, so I decided to write.

Why do I deserve this?

Why did Taylor die?

Why do bad things happen to good people every day?

If God is so good why does He allow these things to happen?

Why does He allow millions of children in Africa to die of malaria daily?

Why? Why? Why?

Now let’s turn it around a little. What makes me so worthy of the blessing of a child? I mean, who says I’m worthy of having Tyler. I didn’t exactly do anything great and wonderful. As a matter of fact, I’m the furthest from deserving a child. But I am so blessed. I am blessed with a full of life 6 yr old who cracks me up on a daily basis. I am blessed by having known my beautiful little girl for 33 days and knowing that I will see her again for all eternity. I am blessed with this bouncing (on my bladder) baby coming soon. I am blessed with a wonderful husband. I am blessed with a wonderful church. I am blessed with understanding, loving, and forgiving friends. I am blessed.

Here are the lyrics to the song “Count your blessings” by Johnson Oatman, Jr. in 1897.

When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your blessings, see what God hath done!
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,
And you will keep singing as the days go by.

When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;
Count your many blessings. Wealth can never buy
Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high.

So, amid the conflict whether great or small,
Do not be disheartened, God is over all;
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey's end.

Contrary to popular belief, the phrase “Count your blessings” isn’t actually in the Bible in those words. The verse this song is based on is Proverbs 10:6 “Blessings crown the head of the righteous.” There are things that have happened in my life that I would probably change given the chance, but if I could change them would my life really be better? Would God still be able to work in my life like He has? I would like to easily answer yes, but the truth is probably not. He does now what’s best. He has a plan and I am just thankful to be a part of it, albeit a small one.

Yep! It's a BOY!!

2008-03-13T16:56:00.003-05:00

Well, we had our hospital ultrasound today and confirmed it is most definitely a boy. So here are the latest pics of little Canaan Benjamin. This first one is the first thing we saw when she stuck the wand to my belly. There was NO doubt!

What's in a name?

2008-03-09T23:21:00.000-05:00

Quite a lot, I think. Ok, I'm just gonna get this out of the way right here and now. For quite awhile now, we have said that we would name this baby Tre Benjamin if it was a boy and TresLynne if it was a girl. For 2 reasons, it was a T name and it meant 3. That way Taylor would be included in the naming of this child. Well, 2 Sundays ago at church we had a guest speaker. She mentioned Racheal in her sermon about when she was giving birth to Benjamin. She tried to name him Ben Oni which means "son of my sorrow" because she was died while having him. His father Jacob named him Benjamin "son of my right hand". He knew God was going to do great things with him and didn't want his name to carry a monument of Racheal's sorrow. Well, that hit me. I don't want this child to carry the monument of my sorrow. I'll never forget Taylor. I don't need to name my 3rd child in a way to remind me and everyone else that she was here. When someone asks me how many children I have, I always include her in the number. When someone asks my son or daughter their name, I shouldn't expect them to explain the meaning.

Anyways, now on to the next issue. God did give me another name and I think for good reason. I really don't care what anyone else thinks of the name to be honest with you, but a couple people have very rudely told me how much they hated it. I didn't tell them to get an opinion. Anyways, we will probably name this child Canaan Benjamin. Canaan because we have been through hell and back this year. This is our year (and hopefully longer season) of promise. Ya know, God breaks a person down before he uses them. It's proven time and time again throughout the Bible. I think I've been pretty well broken down this year. Anyways, while reading Genesis a couple weeks ago, I came upon the passage of the Isrealites finally entering Canaan, their promise land after 40 years in the desert being broken down. Canaan is a beautiful (despite some opinions) and I believe very fitting for our child. And if it's a boy Benjamin because that's his daddy's middle name and I love it even though he hates it. If it's a girl, I haven't decided, but I don't think I'll have to worry about that. Anyways, only leave a comment if it's positive. I don't need anymore negativity at this moment, thank you very much!

My Ultrasound Scrapbook

2008-03-08T13:20:00.013-06:00

A good friend of mine and I scrapbooked last night. Had a good time, got a little bit done. Here's the main thing I got done. A scrapbook for my ultrasound pics. The interior pages are from the 4x6 DCWV Mat Stack. Everything else is from the Little Red Scrapbook Co. October 2007 kit with embellishment and ribbon add-ons. They are a great little kit!! Here's a link if you wanna check them out: http://www.littleredscrapbook.com/

Here's the cover:

Pages 1 & 2

Page 1 - This is where I'll add the dates of each Ultrasound - kind of an index.

Page 2 - Our first peek at our little Peanut

Pages 3 & 4

Page 3 - An envelope for Mommy and Daddy's First Thoughts

Page 4 - Jan 24th Ultrasound - Getting a little bigger

Pages 5 & 6

Page 5 - Most Recent Ultrasound - Very Good Profile

Page 6 - Another hidden journaling pocket

That's all I have so far. When I'm completely done (somewhere around Aug) I'll post the whole thing again. There's lots of hidden journaling on this one. We lost our daughter to SIDS last year, so the feelings we both want to record we don't necessarily want to share. Anywho, hope you enjoyed!

Absolute Sweetness!!

2008-03-07T19:21:00.005-06:00

Introducing

Noah Ray Henderson

March 7th, 2008

12:40pm (approx)

7lbs. 1oz. ~ 21in

My sister Melissa is now a Mommy. I absolutely cannot believe it!! Noah is so handsome, pure perfection. I posted a lot more pics on MySpace in the Baby Noah folder. I'm just speechless which is kinda hard to do. So, I'll leave you with just one more precious pic of Lissa looking with undying love at her precious baby boy. Love you Sissy!!

The Baby....

2008-03-06T16:27:00.004-06:00

Here are the past ultrasound pictures! I finally got a scanner so I can add them. Next Thursday March 13th is the big Hospital ultrasound. We should be able to determine the sex then. I'm so excited to find out. I really don't care, but I want to know. Well, here they are.

This one is the first, confirming pregnancy.

December 27th, 2008 ~ 8 weeks, 4 days

Now for the second Dr.'s visit. Not such a good picture, but a look none the less.

January 27th, 2008 ~ 12 weeks, 5 days

And now the latest.

February 24th, 2008 ~ 17 weeks, 5 days

Last but not least, also taken on February 24th, my favorite! A really good profile.

Now, I'll just leave you with this verse: Hosea 1:6. "and she conceived again and gave birth to a daughter". A couple Sundays ago, Pastor shared with us how his daughter-in-law had just miscarried. She was due on August 2nd as well. According to man, she should have died with all the blood she lost, but God had bigger plans. She miraculously recovered. Thank you Jesus! As she was in recovery Pastor said she was given this verse. She too has a son. (Aren't boys just all rotten?!) She too would love to have a daughter. I pray God blesses her with one this next time. I tried to be selfish I guess. I wanted to believe that that verse was given to me as well. But ya know, I think I was just jealous. All I pray for is a healthy baby, one to have and hold for quite awhile. And, well if this one is a girl, then BONUS!!! But, ya know, the more I think about it....my boys do a pretty good job at spoiling me already. What could be better than one more?

Today's been well,

2008-03-05T19:55:00.005-06:00

weird. I dunno. I just couldn't really get going. I did go eat at El Cavario's tonight! Yumm-O! I love that place. And on Wednesday's kids eat FREE! Can't beat that. We went early so we could make it to church and Royal Rangers, but that didn't work out either. My sissy went to the Hospital tonight, and to make a long story short, she's back home with no baby yet. But, hopefully any day now..... I'm so ready for him to be here!!! I can't wait to hold and spoil him!

On another note, Tyler's school has been celebrating Dr. Suess's birthday this week. He wore some crazy socks today! Aren't they cute!!

Oh, and here's one more (for good measure and stuff) of him reading with one of his buddies Eli in the classroom. They've been laying on floor and reading all week. I just love Dr. Suess! Well, more tomorrow!

Whose Reality??

2008-03-04T18:31:00.001-06:00

"My life sucks!"
"The Dr. said he's gonna die..."
"She is soooooo far off the deep end."

Ok, so I know you've said at least one of these things lately. But I want you to step back and look at that situation again. Are you looking at your reality, your friends reality, your loved one's reality? Or, are you looking straight up in the Heavens and seeing God's reality???? You know so many times, we sit and complain about whats happening, or we pray and pray and pray and feel like God's not even listening. But we have to stop and put our trust and faith in the Lord. His reality is what matters. His reality is eternal. And we can't see it!! That's what faith is all about, trusting God that everything will "work for the better for those that know the Lord." It still may not work out the way WE want it to, but it WILL work out how God wants it to. And trust me, when it works out the way God wants it to, it touches more people for His kingdom. Let me give you an example from my own life. When Taylor died, I could have sat and been mad at God. I could've said "God, I'm your child! Why are you doing this to me?" But I didn't and I don't. Yes, God could have given her the breath of life back as she lay on that ER room gurney, but He didn't. Her single, 33 day old life has touched hundreds of people and will continue to. God has taught me to rely soley on Him, to look to Him and Him alone for comfort and joy. I don't think I would've ever totally grasped that otherwise. The reality is our lives here on this earth are short, so short. I know that in the blink of an eye, I'll be dancing in Heaven!! And Taylor will be there. And ya know, I'm still uncertain in Tyler will be. I don't know what life will bring his way. I'm praying for him constantly though. But, I DO KNOW Taylor will be there. That is comfort. So, you may have a friend, a sister, a granddaughter that is lost. You may have been praying for that person day in and day out for what seems like forever now. Don't give up just because our reality shows that loved one slipping into partying, drugs, alcohol, or whatever. Let me tell you, God is still working on that heart. He doesn't give up. He will be faithful. The question is, will you? Will you look with your own eyes at reality? Or will you look with faith and trust in the Lord Jesus Christ at the eternal reality?

Pure Joy

2007-12-11T18:46:00.000-06:00

James 1:2-4 ~ "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

This is what I want. I was to find joy in my recent trials, so that I may be mature and complete. I believe that so much of my childhood lacked direction and most of my Christian walk has been the blind leading the blind. I hope I have begun to develop perseverance. I want to one day be able to help other young women with similar situations to me. My faith has surely been tested. I pray that I wil find the joy. Please help me find the joy.

It's a Baby ~ Not a Choice!

2007-11-30T18:44:00.001-06:00

This is a bulletin that I actually just posted, but I didn't want it to just go away. So I'm posting it here in my blog, so it can always be seen and read. If it changes just one young lady's mind, then it's worth it weight in gold.

In September 1993, Brenda Pratt Shafer, a registered nurse with thirteen years of experience, was assigned by her nursing agency to an abortion clinic. Since Nurse Shafer considered herself "very pro-choice," she didn't think this assignment would be a problem. She was wrong. This is what Nurse Shafer saw:"I stood at the doctor's side and watched him perform a partial-birth abortion on a woman who was six months pregnant. The baby's heartbeat was clearly visible on the ultrasound screen. The doctor delivered the baby's body and arms, everything but his little head. The baby's body was moving. His little fingers were clasping together. He was kicking his feet. The doctor took a pair of scissors and inserted them into the back of the baby's head, and the baby's arms jerked out in a flinch, a startle reaction, like a baby does when he thinks that he might fall. Then the doctor opened the scissors up. Then he stuck the high-powered suction tube into the hole and sucked the baby's brains out. Now the baby was completely limp. I never went back to the clinic. But I am still haunted by the face of that little boy. It was the most perfect, angelic face I have ever seen."But what about if the baby had been aborted at a younger age.. say 6 weeks? When the baby is this young, doctors use the Saline Method, where they inject a salty saline solution into the mother's womb. You would think it would just poison the baby, but it actually burns it to death. Even though the baby is so young, on ultrasounds of the abortion, the fetus is seen pulling away from the poison as it is injected.. obviously wanting to stay alive. (The baby is intelligent enough to move away from the pain..but the child can't escape it)Think about that before you say that unborn children can't feel pain.

PASS THIS ON IF YOU BELIEVE ABORTION IS WRONG.

Life is life, no matter how small.A baby cries for it's first and last time when it's abortedYou can deny but its true.A baby is a living thing. thats like killing one of your friends!!!

ITS A BABY, NOT A CHOICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, and just for those of you that want to comment and tell me I don't know what I'm talking about: I've been there. I've laid on the table while an abortion is performed. Trust me ~ it's the one and only thing in my whole entire life that I regret, the one and only thing I wish I could take back. I've also experienced the heart wrenching pain of losing a child after they're born, after I've held her in my arms for 33 days. EVERY child deserves a fighting chance, EVERY SINGLE ONE!! Jenn Andrews (Pannell)

Why do you do what you do?

2007-10-30T18:41:00.001-05:00

Why do you do what you do?
Think about that for a moment.
No I mean REALLY think about it.

I had to go out of town today and I stopped for lunch, got out my Bible study and began thinking and praying. Well, beside me sat a fairly large group and they weren't exactly quiet. Not that that bothered me, but what did bother me was one line of conversation I overheard. Now let me say I happen to have previously lived in the town I lunched at today and a couple that was at that table attended the same church as I. I was young, they were older, it was a big church. They didn't recognize me at all, but I knew they were christians. I also heard one of the other ladies at the table refer to the gentleman at the end of the table as "pastor". So, we have a group of Christians sitting at the table beside me. Mind you, I seriously was NOT eavesdropping! Really, I wasn't. It was a large group, they were kinda loud. I was actually trying to do my bible study. (Note to self pick a QUIET place!!) Anyways, here's my point.One of the ladies says, "Did you see all the people leave after dinner Wednesday night? I mean 'so & so' didn't even stay for service! They just ate and left! Oh, the nerve! I mean if they want to eat they should at least stay and listen to the service!" Others joined in with similar comments about how "they would never do such a thing", and it "just wasn't right".

Now, granted part of me agrees with this line of thinking. But, when Jesus told us to feed the least of these, did He say..."by the way, only do it if they will listen to what ya got to say"? No. He didn't. We are instructed to do these things to show the love of Christ, not to lure them in and make them listen to us. It may take several months of a couple, family, whatever coming to dinner and getting to know everyone before they feel comfortable staying for service. I understand it can get frustrating when people don't do what we think they should do, but remember we don't know what's going on in their life. Do as God instructs you to do. And that's it. Let Him do the rest of the work. When we try to do His job to it doesn't exactly work out. And when we complain at His progress, well what does that say about our faith?

I just challenge you to think about what you do and why. If it's not for the glory of God, don't do it. If you're expecting a certain result from people, chances are you won't get exactly what you think you will.