Why?

Just a little writing I decided to do tonight. I went to an infant loss support group in Joplin tonight. Wonderful! A lady shared something along this view and I couldn’t get it out of my mind, so I decided to write.

Why do I deserve this?

Why did Taylor die?

Why do bad things happen to good people every day?

If God is so good why does He allow these things to happen?

Why does He allow millions of children in Africa to die of malaria daily?

Why? Why? Why?

Now let’s turn it around a little. What makes me so worthy of the blessing of a child? I mean, who says I’m worthy of having Tyler. I didn’t exactly do anything great and wonderful. As a matter of fact, I’m the furthest from deserving a child. But I am so blessed. I am blessed with a full of life 6 yr old who cracks me up on a daily basis. I am blessed by having known my beautiful little girl for 33 days and knowing that I will see her again for all eternity. I am blessed with this bouncing (on my bladder) baby coming soon. I am blessed with a wonderful husband. I am blessed with a wonderful church. I am blessed with understanding, loving, and forgiving friends. I am blessed.

Here are the lyrics to the song “Count your blessings” by Johnson Oatman, Jr. in 1897.

When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your blessings, see what God hath done!
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,
And you will keep singing as the days go by.

When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;
Count your many blessings. Wealth can never buy
Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high.

So, amid the conflict whether great or small,
Do not be disheartened, God is over all;
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey's end.

Contrary to popular belief, the phrase “Count your blessings” isn’t actually in the Bible in those words. The verse this song is based on is Proverbs 10:6 “Blessings crown the head of the righteous.” There are things that have happened in my life that I would probably change given the chance, but if I could change them would my life really be better? Would God still be able to work in my life like He has? I would like to easily answer yes, but the truth is probably not. He does now what’s best. He has a plan and I am just thankful to be a part of it, albeit a small one.